On the run
by Disclosing
Summary: Shiho has managed to turn back into her adult self but the organization is still out there, more dangerous than ever. While the FBI tries to deal the final blow to the enemy she must stay hidden under the surveillance of Shuichi Akai, the person who caused her sister to die.
1. Chapter 1

Shuichi had just finished fixing his sniper rifle by the window of the living room when he sniffed the foul smell of smoke and burned meat. She was doing this on purpose, everything she did to him was on purpose. Like pushing his shoes a little out of reach from the genkan, like slipping his gun a little more to the side once he'd set it on the exact position he needed, or hiding his hat in the wrong cupboard. She knew she couldn't take it out on him for the death of her sister, not when he was assigned to protect her and they were hiding in this top floor apartment. At least for this much he admired her, he knew how hard it must have been for her not to jump at his throat, but she'd remained cool headed and put her desire of revenge aside for later. But these little things she did were signs she left to remind him that she hadn't forgotten, that she still blamed him.

In the open space apartment the sounds carried around to every corner easily enough. "Fuck fuck fuck," he heard her swear softly. Shuichi stood and made his way to the stove, Shiho lifted the lid of the pot in that exact moment and his face was assaulted by a cloud of black smoke.

He coughed into his hand, "What's going on here?" He leaned against the kitchen island, "After this you still expect me to believe that you're not trying to poison me?"

Shiho looked up, cheeks furiously red, "Listen…"

"Mmm?" Shuichi prompted while gently pushing her aside, he turned off the gas for god's sake, before the whole place caught on fire. He grabbed the pot and put it in the sink under running cold water. Shiho followed him like a shadow, she stared at the blackened chicken.

"I wasn't trying to burn it – I didn't do it on purpose."

Shuichi shut the water and shook his head, returning to the window where he'd set his rifle, "Sure."

* * *

Shiho bit her lip. It stung that he didn't believe her, that he always assumed she meant to harm him. She had half a mind to leave him be, let him make love to his rifle by the window. Like he spent his days doing anything else. She watched him kneel and brace the gun, he swung with it gently, observing somewhere in the buildings close to theirs. She really wanted to let him be with his grudge, but in the end she found herself standing next him. He seemed so deeply focused, she wondered if calling his name would accidentally make him shoot. She'd rather not make him kill anyone. So she crouched by his side and her hand gave a hesitant pat on his shoulder. "I'm not going to shoot by mistake," he said without releasing his stance, "I'm not that incompetent of a sniper."

"Shuichi…-san" Shiho mumbled, she knew he didn't like when she called him that but she was trying to apologize and surely he would understand that she added the honorific as a sign of respect.

But he grunted in response, "Am I your old uncle now?"

"Shuichi," she corrected herself, and yet he still did not look her in the eyes, what was so interesting or dangerous out the window that he couldn't spare a few seconds to properly hear her apology after she even took the time and effort to make one? Shiho let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding, it rolled off her lips too loud by mistake but it made Shuichi finally look away from his rifle and turn toward her. Their noses brushed and Shiho froze. She hadn't realized that they were so close, his face mere breaths away from hers. She scooted away like a scared animal until her back hit the wall. Shuichi stared at her with a puzzled look in his eyes, unsure if he'd done something wrong again. She'd never realized how green his eyes were, and his expression, for once unguarded, made her feel some sort of sympathy for Akemi. So her sister didn't fall for an insensible piece of trash, this guy was actually capable of emotions. And right now he looked miserable, exhausted and profoundly sad. Shiho regained her composure and sat on her heels, "Shuichi, I'm sorry about before. I really didn't do it on purpose, I only wanted to make some decent food but -" she trailed off.

Shuichi crawled closer until he had Shiho trapped between himself and the wall, he placed one palm flat beside her head. "I'm sorry too, you know? Do you think I need you to remind me? I'm sorry every single day!" His cheeks were red, his eyes bright and puffy, for a moment Shiho thought he was going to burst into tears. He dropped his head, "But I didn't make her – I," he squeezed his eyes, "It's not my fault that she -"

He suddenly leaned in the crook of her neck and Shiho gasped in surprised, she was about to push him off when she notice how hot his face was against her skin. "You're burning up," she murmured.

Shuichi used the wall to leverage himself up and scooted back to his rifle, "I'm fine."

Shiho breathed in, partially enjoying the cold air that washed upon her when he moved away, "You're not. You should rest."

Shuichi shrugged, bracing his rifle, "Just let me be."

She didn't miss the way his grip on the gun wavered, _For fuck's sake_. She stood and grasped his shoulders, forcing him to stand. He didn't oppose resistance when she dragged him to the bed, which meant he must have been really sick. The lack or argument between them felt almost foreign.

She dropped him on the mattress, gave him a pill and left him there to sleep the fever off.

* * *

Shuichi knew he was dreaming but the knowledge didn't make the dream feel any less real. Akemi was standing right in front of him, she wore the same clothes she had on the first day they'd met, when she'd run him over with her car. But her blouse had a big red blotch over the chest, her hair was ruffled and her lip split. Shuichi noticed the gun in her hand and she smiled. _It's your fault that I'm like this! Look at me!_ She lifted the gun and directed the tip toward her heart. _No!_ Shuichi screamed, _No! Stop, Akemi!_ But she pulled the trigger anyway. Shuichi awoke with a gasp, he sat up, hands outstretched as if to reach Akemi's. He reached up and undid the first few buttons of his shirt, the cool air against the sweat of his skin brought some relief. He ran a hand through his hair, then reached for the nightstand where he kept his cigarettes. "You should stop smoking. It doesn't help with your fever."

Shuichi registered the voice and turned toward the door, Shiho was leaning against the frame. She hesitated a second, then she walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. Her hands curled in her lap and her eyes fixed a spot on the floor. "You always smoke when you think of her, I am right? Akemi, I mean."

That did it. This girl! She always messed up his stuff, she called him like he was an old man, just for the sake of getting back at him. And now she wanted to bicker in how he dealt with his feeling and how he decided to take a smoke? Hell, he'll take a smoke if he wanted to. "Just let me be," he spat back, defiantly taking a cigarette out of the package. He noticed when she turned to him and glared but shrugged it off.

"What a jerk!" She yelled, and then he was too busy fumbling for his lighter to see when she pushed him. All he knew was that his back was flat on the mattress, the cigarette lost somewhere in the blankets. Instead his fingers were gripping the collar of her top, like he meant to drag her down. Her hands were splayed open on his chest, skin against skin. It was a weird sensation, something inside him felt out of order. Shiho grimaced, "Are you going to show me how good your martial arts are now?" Shuichi immediately let go of her top, he didn't mean to attack her, it was just instinct. Just instinct. His hand unconsciously trailed down one of her arms. She trembled underneath his touch. Was she really scared of him? It saddened him to think so.

"Sorry," he murmured.

Shiho retreated back to the spot where she was sitting before they got into the argument about him smoking. She fixed her top and stood. "You sweat a lot, you should change your clothes," she told him before leaving.

"Yes," he replied without realizing it. His fingers lazily undid the rest of the buttons of his shirt but instead of getting up he laid there, savoring the cold against his skin.


	2. Chapter 2

Shuichi briefly wondered why Shiho was sitting on his lap. He blinked and realized that they were still in his room, only it was much darker than before. He slowly became aware of her hot hands on his chest and looked down, his shirt was open, he must have fallen asleep while he was changing. Shuichi felt panic rising in his throat, his eyes shot up to hers. What was she doing here? Did they fight again? Did he pull her down by mistake again? "Hey, I -" he started to apologize when Shiho dragged her hands, her nails gently bit his flesh. Shuichi groaned, the action had taken him by surprise and his body felt suddenly hot. It was awkward, and utterly embarrassing. And delicious. As much as he hated to admit it, he liked it, the sensation of her fingertips on his skin. _Damn_. He squeezed his eyes closed and placed both his hands around her wrists. "Stop," he breathed.

Her hands stilled, "Is this what you've done to my sister?" Her voice was cold, deep…different. Shuichi's eyes shot open and he found Akemi sitting were Shiho had just been moments ago. They weren't in his room anymore, now there was just blackness around them. _It's a dream. It's a dream_. He reminded himself in haste, but his mind could hardly tell the difference. Akemi always felt real. Her nails were digging painfully now, to purposely harm him. "I asked you to _protect_ her." She punctuated with a glare. Shuichi felt incredibly guilty. He hadn't done anything, Shiho sitting on top of him was just a dream as well and she'd come in of her own accord, yet he felt devoured by guilt. He had touched something that was forbidden. Shuichi sat up, the shadow of an apology on his lips. Before he knew what to say he noticed Akemi's chest blossoming red, her shirt was slowly staining from her heart down. The stain grew bigger with each breath. _Not again_. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Go away," he said, but he could feel the pressure of her body on his legs. So he kept his eyes shut, "Go away," he repeated louder this time. Akemi was still there, he could tell, he could see the shirt almost completely red by now even if he wasn't really looking. The blood was dripping on his pants, on the sheets. A gun went off. Akemi's weight disappeared. Shuichi slowly opened one eye at a time. She was gone, transformed into thin air. He was about to let out a breath of relief when he saw it. The body crumpled against the wall in front of him. Shuichi pulled on his own hair. He was there too! But he wasn't like Akemi, he was dead. Dead and staring at him. The room went suddenly cold, he was shivering. The body stared at him from the opposite end of the room, the hole in his head, the blood streak across the wall.

Shuichi awoke with a gasp. He sat up and scanned the room out of instinct. It was indeed much darker than he remembered, but his eyes could make out the contours of the furniture and that calmed him a little. He swallowed and drew in a deep breath. It was cold, he had fallen asleep with his shirt open and never actually changed like Shiho recommended he did. He felt his forehead with one hand, the pill she gave him must have worked. Shuichi rolled out of bed and stumbled across the room to turn the light on. He curled against the wall, trying to stabilize his breathing. He hated this, he wished he never needed to sleep again. After a few moments he straightened and walked to the living room. He tossed the shirt on the floor and fell into the comfortable stances of Jeet Kune Do. One move after the other, he kicked and punched and twisted until all it mattered was the balance to achieve perfection of the form.

* * *

 _CRASH_.

Shiho's sleep had never been that deep to begin with, but the recent hiding from the organization had made her particularly alert. She stood from the bed at once after hearing the noise of something shattering. Grabbing an umbrella that she kept under the bed, she made her way toward the source of the noise with soft steps.

* * *

Shuichi inspected the mess he'd made with an almost surreal feeling, like he didn't just kick the ceramic vase off the coffee table. _Great_ , he huffed, there must have been hundreds of splinters spread out on the floor from the spot where he was standing all the way to the hallway that led to the second bedroom.

"What -" He looked up. Shiho was standing there, just outside of her bedroom door, her lips frozen in the middle of the sentence. The umbrella dropped from her fingers. "It's you!" She said almost accusingly, then she eyed the floor, the jagged pieces of ceramic littered all over. "What's going on?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, his gaze dropped to what remained of the shattered vase, followed the pieces all the way to her feet. They were bare, he noticed. And so were her legs, his eyes traveled up the curve of her calf, her inner thighs. Did she even know how short the nightgown was? Wait. He'd looked at her! In a way he shouldn't be. Akemi's face came forth from the corner of his mind where he'd buried the nightmares. "No." He shook his head and scrunched his eyes, hoping to chase the memories away. _Go away. Go away. Go away_. He repeated in his head like a mantra.

Shiho's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, "Are you ok?" He turned and saw her hesitant face, she took a step forward.

"Stop!" He stretched his arms forward, palms spread open. "Don't move! You could get hurt." Shuichi pinched the bridge of his nose. Seriously, was she going to stab a splinter in her foot now? "Wait," he told her in a calmer voice, "I'll come to you."

* * *

Shiho looked down, suddenly aware her bare feet. She was lucky she didn't get a splinter yet, she was practically surrounded by sharp pieces of ceramic. A broken vase standing a siege on her feet. Some of shards broke under Shuichi's shoes as he made his way toward her. She remained still, like he asked her to. Only when she saw his legs right in front of hers she looked up. Shuichi didn't bother meeting her gaze, he bent down and she felt his arm hook under her knees. She found herself lifted against his chest in no time. She wanted to complain, to say anything really. Anything that could make her unnoticed that he was carrying her bridal style back into her bedroom. Her brain was a hollow space, it was like she'd suddenly forgotten how to talk. _God_. She closed her eyes. She realized her hands were splayed on his shoulders and neck. The texture of his skin was surprisingly soft, and slightly damp. And he was warm, did the fever not go away? Or was it just heat from his workout? Shuichi pushed the door to her bedroom open with the tip of his foot, he moved to take a step inside, but changed his mind. He let her down, Shiho found herself standing there, inches away from him, her hands gripping his upper arms. She didn't trust her expression looking up at him, so she stared at the hollow of his neck. The man who killed her sister. No, she could no longer think of him that way. The miserable man, that's what he was, filled with regrets just as much as she was filled with grief. _Regret for causing Akemi to die, Shiho_. She reminded herself and immediately let go of him. She took a step backward, showing an intention to go back to sleep.

"You don't have to worry about anything. I'll go clean the mess." He murmured, and she watched him go, closing the door behind him softly.


	3. Chapter 3

The wind was slightly cool on the rooftop. The moon was off the sky and Shuichi could see each star perfectly. Other than the chill, it was a perfectly enjoyable spring night. All the more reason he didn't understand why Scotch had called him up there tonight. Shuichi sniffed the air, "What are we tonight, my friend?"

Scotch leaned against the chimney and smiled, "Tonight we're just us."

The wind suddenly picked up once Shuichi leaned against the concrete balustrade, he savored the feeling of it running through his long hair, whipping them apart behind his back. "What's the matter then?" He asked, looking back at Scotch. And then he saw it, how Scotch's face became tense and void of all emotions except one.

"I think they know who I am."

Shuichi straightened from the balustrade, "You think, or you're certain?"

Scotch looked down at his feet, then back up, "I – I know."

"Tch. You don't. Listen, I understand that way you feel," Shuichi made his way through the rooftop to stand a few feet in front of him, "I feel like this every day," he whispered, "But you mustn't let it get to your head."

Scotch grabbed Shuichi's arms and shook them with force. By now it was clear to Shuichi that Scotch had panicked, he'd seen it happen to some comrades during the missions of war that he'd taken part in. Scotch rambled on and on that he'd talked to _them_ , that _they_ knew. "They know my real identity. It's only a matter of time before they come get me, if they torture me I know I'll give them information. Look, I'm afraid this will all go down the drain and I can't let that happen."

Shuichi grabbed Scotch's shoulders in turn and gave them a squeeze, "Then ask out. You can do it. Call yourself out, go home." If Scotch believed to be discovered then there was nothing left to do, even if like Shuichi suspected the heads of the organization didn't really know Scotch's true identity, he couldn't possibly continue in this state. He'd broken down. Shuichi pitied him, their job was the kind that wrecked nerves, it was a sick game of hide and seek that had you holding your breath every single second. They treaded on dangerous grounds. Shuichi understood the situation, it was a shame because he and Scotch had been working well together, but if he had to go –

"They'll come after you next. They know we're close, they know everything. Hell , we thought it was us watching them but they knew everything!"

Shuichi shook his head and let go of Scotch's shoulders, walking away, "I can take care of myself. You just ask out. Tonight."

Scotch ran after him, grabbed his chin and made Shuichi face him, "It's too late already. I'm compromised but there's still a chance for you."

Shuichi's eyes widened instantly, Scotch took a few steps back. "What are you talking about?" He mumbled, probably too low for Scotch to hear him.

Scotch leaned against the chimney, "I can buy you some more time. You'll come out this clean." Shuichi noticed the pistol in Scotch's arm and his hand immediately went to his own belt, his gun was missing! Scotch had grabbed it before without him noticing.

"Scotch," Shuichi stepped forward slowly, he could disarm him. And the he would knock him out and take him to a safe place, but he need to approach him without alarming him first. "You're not in the right state of mind now. Let's talk about it later, when you're better." Scotch's hand stilled when the gun was at level with his face. He looked at Shuichi, who had taken another step, "Scotch, please. Listen to me, you -" Suddenly there were loud footsteps approaching from the staircase, Shuichi's head turned an instant to see. But the gun went off. "No!" He screamed and looked back at were Scotch was standing, he was no longer there, replaced by a thick, red streak on the chimney wall. His body lay crumpled at base of the chimney, a hole burned in the middle of his forehead gauging blood out and onto his face. Shuichi ran to him, he took the pistol from his fingers as if that could still stop Scotch from shooting himself. "What did you do?" He murmured. Scotch was looking at him, he was dead but still his eyes were looking at Shuichi almost smilingly. Shuichi took a napkin out of his pocket, he wanted to clean Scotch's face, close his eyes and give him some sort of decent burial.

"What's going on here? Rye?"

Shuichi's hand stopped midway. He used the napkin to rub his eyes instead, before turning to face the boy standing at the top of the stairs. Shuichi rose to his feet, "Bourbon." He made his way to the stairs and Bourbon noticed the bloodied body behind Shuichi, Bourbon's eyes widened, he sucked in a breath and stared at Shuichi with a worried expression. Shuichi towered over him and used this to his advantage trying to scare the boy off from any question, he laid a hand on his shoulder hoping he wouldn't know how much it was shaking, "Traitors need to be eliminated, right?"

* * *

Shiho paced nervously in front of her bedroom door. She still hadn't gotten out. Her feelings were torn between wanting to ignore Shuichi and going to check on his fever. Last night she was reminded that he caused Akemi to die, so no matter how miserable he looked he deserved it. Right? That broken vase was her heart, and he had shattered it into a hundred pieces the day Akemi was shot. Akemi wouldn't have died if she hadn't met him. On the other hand his skin was really hot when she'd felt it and since Shuichi was her main source of protection perhaps she should make sure he was up and running in no time.

She was on her way to Shuichi's room, unwillingly. Her legs always brought her to Shuichi's room without her consent. She hated it, she always found herself in front of his door like she owed him something. Like she should _care_. But why would she give him any attention when all he did was crouching with his rifle in the living room without ever sparing Shiho a glance? There she found him again, by the window, spying on who knows what danger through the viewfinder of his rifle. Which, by the way, seemed to be the only thing aside from her sister with whom Shuichi could have a relationship. Shiho sighed, she had borne days of this…loneliness. Shiho was sure he heard her approach and yet again he did nothing. He didn't look up from his gun, he didn't say a word. He didn't even huff annoyed. "I want to call Edogawa, or the Detective boys." She said loud enough for him to hear her clearly from the other side of the living room.

Shuichi did so much as shrug, "No."

Shiho crossed her arms over the chest, why did he have to say no to every single request of hers? "Come on! You already let my sister die, at least let me talk to my friends."

Shuichi stood up, turned from the rifle so suddenly that a gasp escaped her and she took a step backward by instinct. "I did not let your sister die," he pointed a finger in Shiho's direction, "For the last time. I ran to save her, only I arrived too late."

 _Too late? Too late?!_ Conan had told her about the messages on Akemi's phone. Akemi wrote to Shuichi implying that she was about to be killed _days_ before the murder and he did nothing! How could he not tell the police when he knew someone was after her sister? How could he not offer her FBI protection? Shiho's hands fisted by her sides, "Easy for you to find excuses when you don't even know what it feels like to lose someone you love!"

And then Shuichi had her flushed against the wall, this time she was sure he was perfectly conscious of his actions, unlike the night before when he dragged down on the bed by accident. But she was not scared this time, she couldn't help herself shut up for the sake of it. She snarled, Shuichi's hands pressed her wrists harder against the wall. He leaned down until his face was at level with hers. "I don't know?" He hissed, "I have friends and family that I can never see. My father was murdered, my best friend shot himself in front of me just to buy me some time. I lost them, your sister, and countless – _countless_ comrades in arms before and after taking on the mission to save your sorry ass." His clutch around her wrists tightened then immediately released. Shiho swallowed against her will. Shuichi stood to his full height, "Your sister wanted to get you out of the organization. That's why they killed her. So if there's someone who should be sorry about her death it's _you_ , not me."

Of course. Of course it should be her. Shiho felt like the dam she had built around her emotions had just been breached, and the breach had made it crumble, leaving her defenseless against the wave of guild that hit her with such a powerful force that she felt drowning in it. Her vision blurred, she could see Shuichi pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sorry," he was saying, "I didn't mean that." But it didn't matter. She realized she was biting her lip only when it hurt, her legs gave away and the next thing she knew she was on her knees, sobbing in her hands. "I know!" She chocked, "I know it's my fault! I'm sorry -"

"What are you sorry for?" Shuichi asked in a gentle tone, his voice sounded close and a second later his arms were around her, trying to stop her from shuddering. "What are you sorry for?" He repeated, made it sound like she shouldn't be sorry for anything. He whispered words of apologies for speaking out of turn.

What was she sorry for? For Akemi. For making that damn pill that turned her and Conan into kids. For taking her anger and guilt out on Shuichi. "For everything," she mumbled, "I'm sorry for everything." She gently pushed him away to make some space between the two of them. She raised her eyes to his and begged, "Please. Let me call Edogawa, please!" Conan understood her, he could help her navigate through this tide of emotions.

"No," Shuichi murmured, "You know I can't. Edogawa and your other friends are in a different safe house. I cannot let you contact them for safety reasons. They are just mere passersby-s but you are an asset to the organization. If you give them the chance they will find you, you must stay hidden until the FBI concludes the operation."

"I have nobody to talk to." She sobbed.

Shuichi's thumb ran over her cheekbone, drying a tear that she didn't know was there. "That's not true. You have me, and I know I may not be the best person but you should talk to me. Because that's what comrades do." Shiho watched him place his hand back in his lap, his fingers curled. "I've been to some nasty places and the only reason why I came back lucid was that I had comrades that I could rely on."

Shiho let her head drop until it leaned against Shuichi's shoulder, "I wish our conversation didn't always have to include so many apologies."

Shuichi patted awkwardly on her back, "We'll get better with practice."


	4. Chapter 4

Shiho woke up on the couch. She'd cried for a good half an hour on the floor, hanging to Shuichi, and when her legs were getting numb he had helped her onto the couch where she'd cried and hung to him some more. Now she regretted it. It was foolish to hope that he didn't remember much since it only happened a few hours ago at most, but Shiho was so embarrassed that she couldn't think of a way to save some face with him. She'd blame the hanging part on a temporary weakness. Shuichi was in the kitchen, she could see him easily from the couch without moving much. His movements were careful and controlled, it was his nature to be undetectable. The boiling pot over the stove hummed a comforting rhythm. If she closed her eyes she could pretend that the last few years had just been a bad dream, that she was just a girl and this was just another Sunday at home with her family. _Aaah_ , she sighed softly, _I miss having a simple life_. She looked at Shuichi going through the cabinets, did he miss his life too? He said he had a family he could never see… Shiho wondered what Shuichi would be like in a family setting. She tried to imagine his sharp eyes soften up, his tight lips relaxing and popping open. He would be handsome, Shiho realized. She couldn't really blame Akemi for being infatuated with him in the first place. He probably only looked at her with gentle eyes… and his soft lips – Shiho felt a slight pressure on her bottom lip and realized it was her fingertips. She immediately moved them away. _What am I doing?_ On the other side of the kitchen Shuichi raised the teapot to fill two cups. Shiho sat up in shock and busied herself with the blanket that had tangled around her legs. God, she hoped she hadn't been ogling. How foolish of her to believe he didn't notice when she woke up? He was a top-notch soldier! Shuichi walked to the couch with the cups in his hands, he held out one to her and Shiho took it without saying a word.

"I made tea," he explained when she hesitated before drinking, then sat down next to her, "Do you feel a little better?"

Her lips parted meaning to answer but the embarrassment from all the previous hugging returned at once and Shiho tried to delay the moment she'd face him by taking a sip. Then she remembered what they'd said about talking to each other and felt suddenly stupid. She remembered her fingers on her lips. She put down the cup on the table, then picked it up again just for the sake of holding onto something. And finally she nodded, "Yeah."

Shuichi let out a sigh of relief, "Good, good," he murmured.

It felt striking to Shiho, how this was the first time their conversation wasn't turning into a fight. The feeling was almost unnatural. _That's right_ , she reminded herself, _Talking to Shuichi can be therapeutic, it doesn't always have to be painful_. "Shuichi -" the name he wanted her to call him brought sparks to her mouth, "- can I tell you that I miss my sister? I really miss her. Our parents passed away when we were still little and she was the only thing that helped me deal with the pain of losing them. Now she's gone too and I – I feel consumed by this need of revenge, I -" The cup she was holding was taken away by Shuichi. He put it on the table. Shiho felt both his hands on her face, they were nudging her to look him in the eyes. She immediately blushed, and knowing he could see it made her blush even more because she could do nothing about it.

Shuichi's gaze dropped for a second, "I promise you that you will have your justice, I'll make sure of it myself," his eyes snapped back up, connected with hers, "I don't intend to just let Gin go -" Shuichi paused to take deep breath.

Shiho's hands went over his, still lingering on her cheekbones, and she confirmed that his hands were indeed hot like she felt them. She removed them gently. "You still have a fever." Shiho helped him up before he could protest and walked him to his bedroom, "I can't believe you had a relapse." She had to get him out of her sight or her lips wouldn't stop tingling with the reminiscences of her ambiguous touch.

Shuichi dropped on his bed back-first, "It's been stressful recently."

Shiho stared at him, was he teasing her or did he really mean what he just said? That she had stressed him out to the point of making him fall sick? She shook her head, "Anyway," her hand rummaged into his nightstand, "No smoking while you're recovering this time." She waved the pack of cigarettes in front of him, she was going to throw those stupid things away as soon as she was out of his room. Was there any logic in wanting to protect her and dooming himself to lung cancer at the same time? Shuichi's eyes followed the pack with a certain longing.

"I only smoke when -" He stopped midsentence, unsure what to say next. Probably because he didn't want her to know, but…

"- I know," Shiho finished for him, sitting on the edge of the bed and feeling like and intruder in his room, "I dream of her too, sometimes."

Shuichi pulled at the hem of her shirt, "Give them back, please." He was being way kinder than he'd ever been to her, but Shiho only scrunched the package harder in her hands.

"Quit a bad habit once in a while," she retorted while getting up and heading for the door, "My sister didn't even like the smell of smoke."

Shiho left him there to sleep the fever off, the cigarettes on the other hand went out the window. Literally, she opened the window of her room and tossed the thing out.


	5. Chapter 5

In truth, Shiho knew that Shuichi used to have long hair ever since she saw the picture on Akemi's phone, that her sister secretly took of him. She found it by mistake, on a day that her sister's phone was ringing and Akemi was stuck in the bathroom dealing with some smudged mascara. Shiho missed the phone call but found the picture instead. In the picture Shuichi was standing next to the bathroom sink of a place that looked like a hotel room, the shirt he wore was tucked into black dress pants but it was still unbuttoned all the way. His raven hair tumbled down his back messy and yet strangely perfect, almost to his butt. He was slinging his tie around his neck, probably intent into regaining some sort of presentable appearance. To her sixteen years old self, the picture made her feel like she just watched porn, it was exciting and shameful at the same time. Her sister had fucked with a man, it never felt any more real. It was the first time that it really hit her, that Shiho wished she knew how it felt to be in bed with a man as handsome as her sister's boyfriend. Fuck, he could have been a model for all she knew. His face, his ridiculously long hair, the sliver of chest she could see through the open shirt, everything about his look was perfect. But he was forbidden material and way out of her league, Akemi was a diamond and she was just a plain rock. And so it began her little fantasy, one that she tried to bury under a pile of biology books but some nights would resurface, when she was home sleepless and Akemi had told her not to wait for her for dinner. What would it be like if she had been there instead of Akemi, in that hotel room, while her sister's boyfriend dressed himself in the bathroom? Perhaps she would have snuck out of bed with nothing but a blanket wrapped around herself and took a picture of him on her phone. And what about the before? Before he went to get dressed in the bathroom. Thank goodness Akemi and he had broken up or Shiho would have gone mad and pervert.

 _Was I stupid?_ Shiho wondered, thinking about the hormonal teenager she used to be five years ago. Her eyes gazed upon a sleeping Shuichi, from the chair in the corner of the room where she was sitting. Was he going to be angry at her for taking a look at his pictures? Well, he was an idiot for leaving them poking out from under the pillow. Of all the pictures she imagined she could find on him, these two were peculiar. One was a picture of him in his bulletproof vest, training with his sniper rifle, like the handwritten caption on the back said, _First time shooting with a rifle and our Rapunzel got full score because he's too modest_. And the other was a picture with roughly a dozen people, Shuichi was kneeling in the front row. _Alpha Squad, US Army_. Shuichi stirred and immediately noticed the photos in her hands. He narrowed his eyes at her. Shiho squeezed herself a little more against the back of her chair, suddenly regretting giving in to curiosity. "Sorry," she mumbled, "They were falling out from under your pillow when I brought you the medicine -" she waved her finger towards the nightstand, where she put the tray with a glass of water and a pill, "Sorry – I shouldn't have picked them up." At that moment Shiho wanted nothing more than to drop the pictures on his nightstand and run away.

* * *

She began to slowly climb down from her chair when Shuichi almost yelled, "No!" Shiho's movements froze. Shuichi ran a hand through his hair, "I mean, I'm not angry that you saw the pictures." Shiho slowly began to move again, stepping towards his nightstand. She moved like a prey again, and Shuichi felt like a crippled predator. "Do you like them?" He blurted out. Shiho's feet halted and her face bend a little to one side when she looked at him. _Oh, fuck. I'm an idiot_. If talking to girls were hard as shooting from half a kilometer he would be probably be the world's most famous playboy. Only talking to girls was something that nobody trained him for. Maybe that's why it worked out so well with Akemi, and with Jodie before, they did all the talking. But Shiho was different, she could stare at him for hours without uttering a single word and yet he could hear the wheels of her brain turning, and he'd have no clue on what she was thinking. Shuichi ran both hands over his face, "I mean, could you recognize me? I looked a bit different back then." Shiho smiled, and finally he could breathe again, she held out the pictures to him.

"Your comrades called you Rapunzel. Your hair was longer than Akemi's," she grinned.

Shuichi laughed softly, "Yes, it was." He took the picture from her hands. His comrades. All of them deceased except for Jodie. The time he loved so much was gone, his friends and companions with whom he trained so much, in the end they did make it to the top, they became the Alpha Squad. Now that was gone too and keeping those photos in his wallet would not bring it back. The mattress bounced, when Shuichi raised his eyes he saw Shiho sitting on the edge of the bed, within arm reach. She was staring at the floor, hands joined in her lap.

"I never had a group of friends before I met Edogawa," she confessed, "My life was school, then the lab and then – the Alpha Squad seems nice."

"It was. With them I could forget about my father's murder, about the fact that I was far from home, all that mattered was the team. It was like a second family." Shuichi flipped through the pictures in his hands, "I guess sometimes we almost forgot we were going to war too. Only Agent Jodie, who left before our mission in Afghanistan, remains. And I."

Shiho sighed, and Shuichi wondered what it must have been for her to live in terror, enslaved by the organization at such a young age, with no friends or comrades to help her forget about it. The organization was still out there. Gin was still out there, and god only knows what he'd do to her if he found her. "Maybe I should teach you how to shoot, just in case."

Shiho suddenly looked him in the eyes, "Is something going on with the FBI?"

Shuichi shook his head, if Akemi could shoot Gin that day… "No, just thought you should know how to hold a gun. In case anything happens to me, I'd rather be safe than sorry."

Shiho smiled and handed him the pill and the glass of water, "Just take your medicine for now, and recover. I don't want you to have a relapse again."

Shuichi did as she bid, before he could chug down the medicine though Shiho had hurried off the bed and out of his room, leaving Shuichi to wonder if he had again said something wrong.

* * *

Shiho stood in the bathroom connected to her bedroom. Both her bedroom door and her bathroom door locked. Her little, naïve fantasy resurfaced again. It did not help that in the past years she'd watched a number of crime movies. She imagined Shuichi taking a stance right behind her, his chest barely brushing against her back when he breathed in, his hand gripping her arm while he showed her the proper way to hold a gun. _Like this_ , she imagined his hot breath against her ear when he'd murmur. Shiho splashed her face with cold water. She slapped her face twice and looked in the mirror, but she didn't see herself in it. No, she saw him, with his shirt unbuttoned, the long raven hair, intent in slinging his tie around his neck. And then she saw him turn around, notice her…

Shiho bent over the sink, her face between her hands. _Shit shit shit!_


	6. Chapter 6

Shiho wondered if she could relieve herself with a pillow. She wondered whether her period was about to come since she was so hormonal. _Damn_. She curled on the mattress, fisting the blankets underneath her. Talking to Shuichi couldn't be therapeutic, she couldn't be civil like they mutually promised each other. She needed to hate him. _Hate him. He killed your sister. He killed Akemi, he ruined your life_. She repeated it in her mind a few times before giving up. Her plead was void, she didn't mean it enough. If only she could stop thinking about Shuichi with his shirt open…in the corner of her eye, the pillow now seemed like the most reliable solution. She reached out her hand and grabbed it, uncertain, like she only meant to feel how soft it was. There was a knock on the door and she instantly let go of the pillow. "Come in!" She answered in a haste, feeling her cheeks warm up like a kid who just got caught stealing. Shuichi opened the door but made no move to enter her room. Shiho pushed herself up, leaning on her arm.

"You left in hurry and you seemed troubled." He started. _Damn keen Shuichi_. Of course he would notice it, Shiho cursed herself for not being subtle enough. "Did I upset you?"

"No." Not in the way he was thinking. Shiho caught herself rushing to prevent him from misunderstanding. It had just been a day since they stopped fighting and she was already incapable of tolerating a similar situation, she couldn't go back to them fighting despite how much wanted to. "You didn't do anything," she leaned slightly forward, "I'm just -" Suddenly his eyes left her and he even twisted a bit his head to stare at a spot on her rug. Shiho was left speechless by his action. Her eyes instinctively traveled to the same place only to find her rug extremely ordinary. Her hand scratched her arm to relieve some stress and she realized it. One of the straps of her nightgown had fallen off her shoulder, she wasn't completely exposed but she felt suddenly very aware of how little she was wearing. She almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous she must have looked to Shuichi when he opened the door. She must have looked like she was begging for him - telling him to come in, waiting for him on the bed half naked, her cheeks still flushed from pillow stuff before – She wasn't consciously trying to seduce him but it seemed like her body had just decided to act out the part. _I'm indecent_. "I'm just a little tired." She told him, fixing the strap of her nightgown. Shuichi nodded, he grabbed the handle of the door then gave her a firm stare, "Tomorrow I'll teach you how to shoot. Please approve of it."

"Fine," Shiho responded, as long as it got him out her room. She'd find a way to deal with her embarrassment tomorrow. She just wanted him gone so that she could forget about how hot her body felt, forget about the pillow. Forget about everything.

Shuichi bid her good night and closed the door. Shiho let out a sigh let her head fall back on the bed. For the first time she found something she dreaded more than to dream of Akemi.

* * *

"I can't let you shoot the actual bullet because the noise would draw too much attention," Shuichi explained, "So I've unloaded the gun, but it changes nothing. Treat it like a regular training session."

Shiho gasped when Shuichi put the gun in her hands, his fingers deftly moved hers into the right position. Despite her troubled sleep, she did not come up with a way to efficiently deal with the embarrassment of the situation. This morning she had repeated to herself that she hated him but the words didn't quite manage to convince her. "Ever held a gun before?"

Shiho tried really hard to focus on the answer so that she didn't have to mind his hand on her arm. "Just once," she breathed, "Edogawa and the kids were in danger and I just wanted to make Gin go away, so I shot a couple times on the ground."

"Good, so you know how to use a pistol." Shuichi moved behind her, grabbing one of her shoulders to push it slightly higher. Shiho cursed herself for anticipating his breath on her neck.

"I did it out of instinct. I never properly learned."

"Still better than nothing," Shuichi positioned himself right behind her, his torso was a breath away from her back and though they were both fully clothed, Shiho could feel the heat his body dissipated against her shirt. His touch was fleeting, purely academic, she reminded herself. This wasn't one of her crime movies. "Spread your legs a bit more," he told her, "Find a balanced and comfortable stance." Shiho's cheeks blushed, she wanted to slap him. _At least choose your words carefully!_ "And now straighten your back, come a little more towards me." _Find a balanced stance, Shiho. Straighten the back_. She forced her mind to go through Shuichi's advices. But then his arms completely encompassed her, he was probably telling her that she should keep her arms straight, but Shiho couldn't listen to him anymore, all she heard was her heart exploding. His hands moved briefly on her hips and she finally lost it.

"Stop!" She yelled in despair, her hands let go of the gun. It fell on floor before Shuichi could make a move to grab it. She twisted in his awkward embrace until she was facing him. Her palms gently pushed on his chest to make him step away. Shiho looked down, suddenly ashamed, "I can't do this anymore."

"Why?" Shuich inquired, "You approved of it last night. If it's because it scares you to hold a gun it's totally normal -"

"It's because -" Shiho pressed her lips into a thin line, "It's because -" _I'm attracted to you!_ "- because I hate you!" She moved past him and went to stand near the couch. Oh, God. She'd just given him the lamest excuse, she could feel him walking toward her. Now they were going to fight. He grabbed her wrist tugging her to make her turn around. She refused to look him in the eyes, preferring to stare at her feet instead.

"Shiho, you're a terrible liar," his voice was surprisingly soft, "Look, I know I'm not good with words, but if there's something you need get off your chest I'll listen to you. Even if it's about me. I won't judge you for criticizing me."

Shiho shook her hand free from his grasp, she looked up to meet his gaze. That's it. She was done. She was going to take care of her hormones now and be done with it. She placed both hands on either sides of his face, he was so much taller than her that she had to get on her toes and stretch her legs all the way, but she did it and in a flash her lips were against his. She originally meant to give him a peck, she didn't expect that he would open his mouth and her lips just slipped in and tangled with his. His tongue slid against her teeth while he sucked on her bottom lips. His thumbs ran across her jaw, massaged her neck, her scalp. Shiho barely noticed when he twisted them around and pushed her with her back against the wall. One of his hands hooked her knee, pulling it up against his hips, trying to lift her body a little higher so that he could kiss her without having to bend over so much. Something that seemed like a vague buzz reached her ear and she dismissed it, but Shuichi was immediately off of her and stretched over the coffee table. Shiho realized he was answering the transceiver.

"What?" He almost yelled into the device.

"Commander Akai, we're tracking a suspect on the move towards your place."

Shiho recognized the voice of the agent on the other side, he was one of the men in charge of surveilling the perimeter around the apartment building.

"Copy that. Prepare to give me more details on the suspect's position." Shuichi grabbed the loader and put it back in the gun, she'd never see him work so fast. He trusted the gun in her hands, his other arm came around her waist and pulled her towards the corner of the living room where he'd set his rifle. "Go inside my room and lock yourself in the bathroom. Ok?"

Shiho nodded, she ran inside his bedroom, the excitement for the kiss temporary stalled by the state of emergency. She locked herself in his bathroom and sat on the ground between the sink and the bathtub. She placed the gun on the side and focused on breathing long, deep breaths. The agent said it was just a suspect, it didn't have to be Gin coming for her. She covered her mouth with one hand. _Oh God_. Just a suspect. Shuichi was aiming his rifle at him right at that moment probably. For the longest time there was absolute silence, then finally, she heard soft noises coming from the living room. Shuichi was talking to the perimeter agents. She heard him knock at the bathroom door. "All clear." And she went to turn the key. Shuichi opened the door for her, "It was just the neighbor's lover. Her husband went out this morning with a small suitcase so she must have used this opportunity to call her other man over."

Shiho let out a sigh of relief. _Not Gin, then_. She feet moved of their own accord, she spread her arms and threw herself at Shuichi, burying her face in his the crook of his shoulder. He hugged her against his chest, rubbing his palms up and down her back. "It's ok," he murmured. He gently cupped her face in his hands and pulled it up to get a good look at her. Shiho's lips parted, they were so close. His thumb was tracing the contours of her lips. They were in his room, she realized. She tentatively took a step forward and he took a step back, she'd only have to push him back a few more feet before they'd tumble on the bed. The possibility flashed in her mind. Shuichi seemed to read her thoughts though. "Don't tempt me," he warned her, "I'll want to do things to you – things that aren't proper."

Shiho pushed him back another step, "What if I want you to do improper things to me?"

"You don't know what you're asking for."

Shiho looked down, a bit discouraged. She was a virgin in heat and he was an experienced man. It could be very possible that he just wasn't interested in having that kind of intimacy with her. She made to step away when his arms grabbed her, lifted her up until her face was at level with his. In a heartbeat she found her back flat against the mattress of his bed. He climbed on top of her, settling himself against her crotch. Shiho sucked in a breath. His fingers brushed the bangs away from her face. "Do you have any idea," he said meeting her eyes, "How much I want to do you right now?" Shiho's lips parted, then closed again. "I want you so much that it pains me. This -" he nodded toward the tangle of their limbs, "– should be something done after a few dates and a nice dinner. Not in the heat of the moment."

Shiho swallowed, the idea that he wanted her brought butterflies to her stomach and the feel of his body pressed against her made the inside of her legs tingle. "If tomorrow night I still want it," she asked, "Will you make love to me?"

Shuichi snorted, "I said a few dates."

"We can't go on a few dates right now," Shiho protested, "And besides, we've been around each other for four years already. Don't they count as dates?" Shuichi had started protecting her four years ago, when she had just taken the pill that had turned her into a kid. True, he may have worn a mask at the beginning, but his personality was pretty much the same. And Shiho had grown up since then, she'd returned to her adult self after developing the antidote. Though their encounters were never smooth, they were there and they served to build the tension, and strangely enough the attraction, that hung between the two of them now.

Shuichi breathed against her lips, "Fine." Then he lifted up from her and helped her sit up on the bed. "Now go," he smiled, "Cool off and figure out if you still want me by tomorrow."

Shiho smirked and hopped off the bed. "But before then," Shuichi held her hand gently, "No tempting."

Shiho's cheeks flushed, "I'll be in my room then. I'll get some rest." And she hurried away.


End file.
